I'm sure most of you have used a kitchen appliance at some point in your life. Perhaps you used a blender this morning to make a nice smoothie. Or used a toaster to make crispy bread. You probably used an oven last night to make dinner, or maybe boiled water on your stove. Kitchen appliances are designed to make our lives much easier and better, but what you may not know is that your appliances may be plotting to kill you.
But how do you know? Look for these five simple clues to help you determine whether or not your appliances are going to buy you a nice jacket for Christmas stab you in your sleep.
- Have your appliances been working properly? If they have not, it may be a show of rebellion. If you do not quell the resistance in this early stage, it may be too late.
- Have your appliances been turning on by themselves? If so, they are either practicing for Doomsday or conspiring while they think you aren't watching. Monitor them closely and if you notice anything odd, unplug them immediately.
- Have your appliances burned, pinched, or otherwise harmed you? If they have, then their bloodlust is growing, and your demise is imminent. Any and all appliances that show aggression must be put to death as a show of force.
- Have odd phone numbers appeared on your caller ID? If so, the appliances may be enlisting 'professional help.' Immediately disconnect the phone lines and plant anti-personnel mines in your yard. Make sure they are properly buried, and never go back to check.
- Have other items in your house shown similar activity? If so, then the mutiny is spreading throughout your house. There is no option left. You must nuke your home and move you Australia. Be sure to send postcards.
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