Vampires suck, and so do their movies.

So it will come as no surprise to anyone that I hate the Twilight series. Not only does the main vampire sparkle in the sun (versus melting, burning, and dying, as vampires have done for centuries), the book and movie series are the epitome of retarded for our generation. Imagine with me, if you will, a sentient, alien race descending upon post-apocalyptic Earth. Now, these alien explorers come across the last tome of human knowledge that wasn't destroyed in the nuclear war (most likely caused by an argument on the Halo forums about which game in the series is better (answer: none)). Unfortunately, this book is Twilight.

Ignoring the fact that these aliens not only cannot read our language, but have technology far beyond our imagination and do not even recognize what a book is, they bring it back with them to their home planet. After years of study, analysis, and interpretation, they finally can understand what Twilight is. And now the entire human race has been put to shame by Naked Alien People. Does nobody else understand the ramifications of the Twilight series?

Anyway, this post is about the fact that the people Satanic zombie-Hitler animal rapists behind such films piles of horse shit as Date Movie and Meet the Spartans are releasing a new movie mind-rape device called Vampires Suck. It comes out August 18th. You've been warned.